Lady Sif
by Adaobi
Summary: What if Sif was sent through the Bifrost, not Thor. Based on the film. NOTE: Thor is Sif's dead grandfather, so no Thor (except when Sif & the Warriors Three swear).
1. New Mexico

**Disclaimer: Heimdall stands at the Bifrost, looks down at a puny human on Earth, he sees her waving frantically, yelling for him, he wonders if she's in peril, he's intrigued. She's been doing this for about 20 minutes, so he whispers her name and asks "What do you want child? Are you in grave danger? Is your realm in peril?". She replies "No. I just wanted to tell you I own nothing."**

* * *

Darcy Lewis wonders why she's sitting here in the middle of the night, at the wheel of a converted jeep with 2 scientists, in the Puente Antiguo desert in New Mexico, staring at nothingness, all for a measly 6 college credits? Astrophysicist Jane Foster and her mentor Dr. Erik Selvig might be experts in their field, but they were definitely not experts in fun. Darcy takes a mental note, _"Note to self: never bring them on stakeouts or stalking sessions. They don't know the value of good music and munchies"_

"The last 17 occurrences have been predictable to the second" she overhears Jane telling Erik, Darcy zones out _"Seriously, I could be playing Halo – I hate Halo, I could be watching The Notebook – I think my brain's been hijacked by boredom, anything's better than stari- What the frak is that?!"_ Darcy notices something through the side mirror "Err...Jane, I think you want to see this..." Darcy keeps looking at the side mirror, while Jane and Eric look through the roof.

Erik gasps "I thought you said it was a subtle aurora", the very beautiful, but not subtle aurora grows. Jane yells "Go!", Darcy shifts into drive and floors it, Jane and Erik sit back in the jeep, Jane in the passenger seat, Erik at the back. Jane takes out a camcorder, "Get closer" she says. Darcy responds sarcastically, with a quick side glance "Right. Good one."

"Go" Jane yells again, Darcy obeys, as they get closer to the now scary looking vortex, that is definitely not a subtle aurora. Darcy remembers her mortality as they watch the vortex hit the ground. It seems like it's depositing something. Darcy decides that it's not worth it.

"What are you doing?" Jane yells slightly irritated as Darcy turns the wheel.

"I am not dying for 6 college credits!" Darcy exclaims. Jane forcibly takes the wheel. As they struggle, the vortex is making a deposit of thunder, lighting, furious blues, while stirring a whole lot of sand. The occupants of the jeep miss this beautiful view, but one of them notices the clear presence of danger and death, while the other 2 really want to get closer to this potential answer to the mysteries of the universe.

During the struggle, they all fail to notice the presence of the lone figure that was deposited by the vortex, until they hit it. The jeep skids to a stop, they all get out, with their flash lights, to meet the figure.

"I think that was legally your fault" Darcy defends, _"Crazy chick took the wheel"_ she silently adds.

"Get the first aid kit" Jane responds, while running towards the figure, with Erik close behind. Darcy runs back to the jeep to get said first aid kit.

On meeting the figure, Jane and Erik see a dark haired woman clad in leather boots, trousers and a loose fitting shirt, on the ground.

"Please...don't be dead" Jane panics as she bends over the woman, Darcy returns with the first aid kit and gasps "Where did she come from?"

The woman takes in a deep breath and wakes up, she stares at Darcy.

"Whoa. Do you need CPR? Because I totally know CPR" Darcy responds, the woman keeps staring at Darcy then she passes out.

"Where did she come from?" Jane wonders out loud

"_This just got interesting, who knew Xena, Warrior Princess, was in Puente Antiguo, New Mexico? I really want to give her CPR, I've got the first aid kit and everything"_ Darcy wonders as she makes a mental checklist for her awesomeness in CPR-ing.

The woman wakes up again, gets up in a state, yelling "Heimdall?! Heimdall?!", but in her current state of discombobulation, it sounds like she's yelling "Hammered! Hammered!"

"Yeah, we can tell you're hammered. It's pretty obvious" Darcy deadpans.

"Oh, my God. Erik, look at this" Jane gasps, she notices the pattern on ground that the dark haired woman is walking over. Jane is concerned that it would fade away soon, she wants to take notes and pictures. Erik is concerned about the woman's health, "We need to take her to a hospital" he says.

"She's fine, look at her." Jane says, marvelling at the pattern.

"_Yup, Xena's hella fine."_ Darcy mentally concurs.

"Father!" the mysterious woman yells. "Heimdall! I know you hear me! Open the Bifrost!" she continues.

"Hospital...you go, I'll stay" Jane says.

"You" the mysterious woman points at Erik, "What realm is this?" she asks, "Alfheim? Nomheim?"

Darcy takes a few steps back and goes to the side, out of the mystery woman's view.

"Ok, Xena you're hot and all, but this is getting a little cray cray" she whispers, while getting out her trusty taser gun.

"New Mexico" Darcy responds to the mystery woman's question.

The woman turns to the voice, "You dare threaten me, Lady Sif, with so puny a weapon?" she taunts.

Darcy fires her taser gun directly at the woman's chest. Sif drops to the ground after a dazzling display of fits. Jane and Erik look at Darcy in shock.

"What? Xena was freaking me out." Darcy deadpans.

Erik carries the now unconscious woman into the jeep, "Darcy, next time you taser someone, make sure they are already in the car!" he complains. He sets her into the back seat.

"Err...my bad, but Xena was kinda acting cuckoo and she looked like she could actually kick our collective asses."

Jane was still taking notes, pictures and recordings of the pattern, intrigued by its beauty and its importance.

After making sure Sif is secure, Erik yells for Jane to remind her they need to leave. As they drive off to the hospital, Darcy has a sly smile on her face as she mentally summarises her night. _"There was a not so subtle aurora, I almost died, I met Xena, she was fine, very hammered, slightly cuckoo, I tasered her. Not bad, those 6 credits might actually be worth it."_

* * *

**_A/N: I honestly don't know why I wrote this, I'm supposed to be asleep, I don't even write, plus my final exams are coming very soon. Geez, I don't even know how I'll finish this story, if I decide to. Lets hope no one reads this... Oh & any typos & issues are all mine. Any missing s-es are my laptop's fault...  
_**


	2. Lady Sif, Goddess of Thunder and War

**Disclaimer: Lady Sif in the throes of battle, slaying Frost Giants left, right and centre, while creating thunder strikes with her trusty Hammer, is distracted by a woman in rubber soled shoes. She appeared out of nowhere, the woman smiles and skips towards Sif. The Lady is worried about this strange mortal, who seems oblivious to it all. The Lady takes out every Frost Giant, who decide to attack this defenceless prey. The woman finally reaches Sif, her smile extends as she tiptoes to whisper into Sif's ear. The Lady is intrigued, so she bends to hear the mortal's words, "I own nothing."**

* * *

Lady Sif Odindóttir - daughter of Odin and Frigga, crown princess of Asgard, sister of Loki – has just returned from a great battle to attend her own coronation as the Queen and Ruler of Asgard. As she arrives through the Bifrost on horseback, she rides triumphantly on the rainbow bridge to her coronation. She recalls a time from her youth.

**FLASHBACK**

King Odin is in his weapons vault, with his 2 children – Sif & Loki, he tells them about their grandfather, his father, the mighty Thor, God of Thunder, the last holder of Mjolnir. Little Sif wants to be like her grandfather – King of Asgard, slayer of creatures that invaded the other realms and dying in glorious battle.

"I want to be just like grandfather" she pipes. "King of Asgard, killing monsters and dying in glory!" she continues.

Odin smiles at his little daughter, "Being King is more than fighting, little one. It is more than battles and wars my dear. You have to make choices, choose wisely, make sacrifices, compromise and understand politics."

"Yes little sister, it's not just about fighting" Little Loki quips.

"Yes **little** brother, I might be smaller than you, but I'm still **older** than you. You only say that because you are a terrible fighter, but a conning avoider" Sif smirks at her brother, while he frowns and pouts in return.

"Calm down children, one of you will be a great ruler, but I will always be proud of both of you" the King smiles at both his children.

They approach a strange box, emitting a faint blue glow, the King stops and turns to his children.

"This is why I brought you here today. This..." he points at the box, "...is the Casket of Ancient Winters, from the last Great War."

"Many years ago, from a realm of cold and darkness, the Frost Giants of Jotunheim, invaded the mortal world, threatening to plunge the realm into a new ice age. Their leader Laufey intended to conquer the nine realms, so he started with the weakest."

"During this era mankind accepted a simple truth – they were not alone in the universe. They believed some worlds were home to their gods. Others, to be feared – they feared the Frost Giants greatly."

"We Asgardians, could not let mankind and rest of the realms suffer this tyranny. We did want we do best, we fought long and hard."

"Our armies drove the Frost Giants back into the heart of their own world, but at great cost. In the end, Laufey fell and we took the source of their power" he points again at the box.

"Is this the Great War, where you lost your eye father?" Sif asks

"Yes, my child, but it is only a little loss, when compared to the many lives of great Asgardians and mortals, who lost theirs." The children nod at their father, with understanding.

"We returned back to the realm eternal, Asgard, here we remain beacon of hope. Even though, mankind has forgotten about us, it was Asgard and its warriors, that brought peace to the universe."

"Father, do the Frost Giants still live?" Loki asks.

"When I'm Queen, I'll slay them all! Just as you did father." Sif quickly retorts.

"Ah...little one remember it's not only about war. A wise King, never seeks out war...but he's always prepared for it."

Odin walks away from the box, while his children share conspiratory smiles with each other, both run towards their father taking each hand. "We're ready, father" they simultaneously respond.

Odin smiles at his children, "As you may recall, only one of you can rule, you are both born of royal blood – born to rule. As always, I will be proud of both of you, no matter who rules."

**END OF FLASHBACK**

The Lady Sif, soon to be Queen Sif, smiles. Remembering that day, she always knew she'd be Queen and weld Mjolnir, just like her grandfather, the mighty Thor did before her. She strokes the Hammer.

"Ah...I see you are having another moment with your precious, but you can't be late for your own coronation." Fandral quips.

"Fandral, I can be, I will be Queen after all" she laughs. "You three can go ahead and take your positions, I will be but a moment. I need to make a memorable entrance." She smirks.

Fandral and the rest of the Warriors Three – Hogun and Volstagg – laugh, as they leave their friend to plan her grand entrance. Sif smiles at the Warriors Three and how they have always been at her side ever since they met at the first day of training.

**MINI FLASHBACK**

She recalls how Volstagg stumbled into her, while trying to hide some food, after a rather tough sword throwing session, she helped him find a safe hiding place. An abandoned cannon. Unfortunately, months later, some mischievous trainee decided to test its functionality, he ended up with turkey enfused walls. The trainee was suspended.

How she saved Fandral the Dashing, from a scorned girl during a sword fighting session, who decided to end his dashing ways through not very pleasant ways. A few choice words from Sif, reminded her of her dignity and great potential at finding better suitors.

While, Hogun the Grim didn't really need any saving, just a dose of humour. She found him sitting comfortably on a tree reading a book, during a stealth training session, they had been looking for him for about 6 hours. "No one ever looks up" was the response he gave when asked why he chose a tree.

**END OF MINI FLASHBACK**

Sif smiles again, as she makes her entrance into the auditorium in full armour, with a red cape and winged helmet and Mlojnir at her side. She back-flips into the auditorium, the crowd cheers. She throws Mlojnir, they cheers, she catches it, they cheer louder.

Sif walks gracefully down the aisle towards her father, Odin, who sits alone on the throne. She keeps hyping the crowd with her theatrics. Her mother, Frigga stands at her father's side smiles and shakes her head at her daughter. Frigga knows her daughter's intelligence, wisdom, beauty and strength make her the natural choice to lead, but worries about her stubbornness, which can be both gift and a burden in her future role as Ruler of Asgard.

Sif acknowledges her friends the Warriors Three, who are currently at their positions on the steps leading towards the throne, they all smile and sigh at her theatrics. While, her brother Loki looks on the other side of the steps.

Odin quietly observes and hopes he has chosen wisely, he too worries about Sif's stubbornness, but he remembers her intelligence and wisdom and hopes those attributes will tame her.

Sif finally arrives at the steps and kneels before her father, she looks up to her mother, flashes a stunning grin and winks. Frigga, smiles, sighs and shakes her head at her daughter. Loki rolls his eyes. The Warriors Three smile and sigh at their old friend.

Odin observes quietly, stands up from his throne, taps his spectre on the ground once, and the whole auditorium falls silent. He begins the proceedings.

"Sif Odindóttir, my heir, my first born. So long entrusted with the mighty hammer Mjolnir, forged in the heart of a dying star. Its power has no equal, as a weapon to destroy or as a tool to build. 'Tis a fit companion as a Queen."

"I have defended Asgard and the lives of the innocent across the Nine Realms from the time of the great beginning, after the great reign of my father the mighty Thor. Now the day has come, I pass down this great responsibility to you, Sif Odindóttir."

"Do you swear to guard the Nine Realms?"

"I swear."

"Do you swear to preserve the peace?"

"I swear."

"Do you swear to cast aside all selfish ambition and to pledge yourself only to the good of the Realms?"

"I swear!" still kneeling, Sif lifts up Mjolnir.

"Then on this, I Odin all-father, proclaim you..." Odin stops.

Sif looks at her father with worry and concern. _"Why has father stopped?"_ she thinks.

"Frost Giants." Odin grimaces as he observes 3 Frost Giants in his weapons vault stealing the Casket of Ancient Winters. _"How dare these rebels attempt to steal the Casket during a scared day"_ he mentally chides. He summons the Destroyer, with a single tap of his spectre. It appears behind the Casket's mantle and proceeds to destroy the Frost Giants without a moment's hesitation, with three blasts of ethereal fire from its faceless helmet. The Destroyer returns to his resting place behind the mantle.

The coronation stops before Sif can be officially declared Queen. Odin and his children leave the proceedings, with Odin's personal guards, to inspect the weapons vault. Odin and Loki quietly observe the aftermath of the botched robbery. Sif is filled with barely contained anger. _"Of all days, they choose my coronation to commit this heinous crime, they kill innocent warriors, they must pay!"_ she mentally chastises the dead Frost Giants. Odin picks up the Casket and places it back on its mantle.

"Father, the Jotuns must pay for what they've done!" she says aloud.

"Daughter, they have paid, with their lives. The Destroyer did its work, the Casket is safe and all is well."

"All is well?" Sif questions. "They broke into the weapons vault! If they had stolen even one of these relics th-"

"They didn't" Odin interrupts.

"Well, I want to know why!" Sif demands. Loki quietly observes his sister, he knows when to step back from her, this being such a time to do so. Loki waits for his father's response.

Odin sighs "I have a truce with Laufey, King of the Jotuns."

"He just broke your truce! They know you are vulnerable!" she angrily retorts.

Odin sighs again and faces his daughter "What action would you take?" Loki also looks at his sister.

"March into Jotuheim as you once did, and teach them a lesson." she responds

She takes a breath "Break their spirits, so they'll never dare to cross our borders again." she continues.

"You're thinking only as warrior. Remember daughter all those years ago, there is more to ruling than fighting wars." he chastises

"This was an act of war!" she angrily retorts. Loki takes a precautionary step back, still quietly observing his stubborn sibling and his father.

"It was the act of but a few, doomed to fail." Odin counters.

"Look how far they got!" she yells again. Sif worries her father has gone soft. Loki takes another step back, he raises a quizzical brow at his sister.

"We will find the breach in our defences and it will be sealed." Odin diplomatically responds. Maybe his daughter's wisdom will make see reason.

Unfortunately, she doesn't, she boldly proclaims "As Queen of Asgard..."

"But you are not!" he angrily retorts. He sighs and looks at his daughter thoughtfully "Not yet."

Odin leaves in quiet anger, Sif stays in barely contained anger, Loki quietly observes. The siblings don't leave the vault, till their father leaves.

**++Lady Sif++**

The Warriors Three are waiting at the private banquet room, where Sif's coronation was to be celebrated with close friends and family. Sif angrily walks into the room and proceeds to topple the large beautifully ardoned and set buffet table over in anger. The Warriors Three worry about their friend, especially Volstagg, who also worries about the spilled food.

Loki, as always, quietly observant steps out from behind his sister and sits next to her.

"Brother, it is unwise to be in my company, right now" she warns.

"I know little sister." he responds.

Sif snorts "You still call me little, even though I am **now** taller than you." She releases a low laugh.

Loki looks on, as hoped, it makes her less angry, so he lets her blow off steam.

"This was to be my day of triumph, the beginning of a glorious era." she concedes.

"It will come... In time." he calmly reminds her. He sets his plan into motion.

"If it's any consolation, I think you're right about everything – the Frost Giants and Laufey. If they could find a way past our defences, who's to say they won't try again? Next time, with an army."

"Exactly" she nods.

"We can't do anything without defying Father." Loki sighs.

Sif smirks at her brother and sports a glint in her eyes. She gets up with a plan set.

Loki sports a worried look "No, no, sister. I know that look."

The Warriors Three, now face their friend, since she's sufficiently calmer. Although, they worry about whatever Loki whispered in her ear. She might be calmer, but she now has "the look" that means she's about to convince them to something that they might regret later, but will make an epic story to tell. They don't call Loki, the God of Mischief for nothing...

"It's the only way, Loki"

"No, Sif it's madness."

"What sort of madness?" Volstagg asks, while he's polishing off a turkey leg, a chicken and half a goat. Hogun and Fandrel look on thoughtfully.

"We're going to Jotunheim." Sif calmly responds.

"What?!" Hogun and Volstagg respond.

"This isn't like a journey to Earth, where you summon a little thunder and lightning and mortals worship you as a god. This is Jotunheim!" Fandral reminds her, always the voice of reason, whenever she loses hers.

"My father fought his way into it, defeated their armies and took their Casket. We will just be looking for answers." She says.

"It is forbidden" Hogun reminds her.

Sif goes in for the kill, she chuckles and goes into a speech. Loki sighs and puts his face in his hands.

"My friends, have you forgotten all we have done? Fandral, Hogun, who lead you into the most glorious of battles?" she leans into Hogun, killer smile in place, she knows she's got him. Hogun smiles, shakes his head a little and bows his head slightly "You did." Fandral does the same.

She walks over to Volstagg, who's now constructing his latest delicacy, an all the meats sandwich, _"Don't forget the pickle, it counts towards your 5 a day" _Volstagg reminds himself. "And Volstagg, to delicacies so succulent, you thought you'd died and gone to Valhalla?" she continues. Volstagg laughs "You did."

"Well then my friends, we're going to Jotunheim" she finishes.

**++Lady Sif++**

They ride their steeds to Bifrost. Loki attempts to use his silver tongue on Heimdall and fails miserably before he can start. Heimdall accurately predicts their plan, thanks to their warm clothing. Since, the pretence is over, Sif takes a straight forward approach "Let us pass."

"Never has an enemy slipped my watch until this day. I wish to know how that happened." Heimdall responds.

Sif sees her opportunity "Then tell no one were we've gone...Understand?" she passes the guardian, the Warriors Three follow with Loki at the end.

As Volstagg passes Loki, he jokes "What happened? Has the silver tongue turned to lead?" The Three laugh, and as always, Loki quietly takes it in and observes.

Heimdall opens the Bifrost with his sword, as it positions itself, Heimdall warns "Be warned. I will honour my sworn oath to protect this realm as its Gatekeeper. If your return threatens the safety of Asgard, the Bifrost will remain closed to you. You'll be left to die in the cold ruins of Jotunheim."

"Couldn't you just leave the bridge open for us?" Volstagg nonchalantly asks, while chewing on a piece of fried goat.

"To leave the bridge open would unleash the full power of the Bifrost and destroy Jotunheim with you upon it." Heimdall responds

"So that's a no then..." Volstagg quickly swallows his last piece of goat.

"I have no plans to die today" Sif calmly retorts, killer grin in place.

"None do." Heimdall replies.

**++Lady Sif++**

They are transported to Jotunheim, with Sif leading the way. Hogun with his deadpan honesty "We shouldn't be here."

"You don't say?" Fandral responds.

"I should have brought more goat." Volstagg offers.

Sif smiles at her friends "Lets move." And as always, Loki quietly takes it all in.

The five warriors arrive at the ruins of Laufey's rather empty looking palace. Hogun questions "Where are they?", "Hiding as cowards always do." Sif responds. They continue walking until they hear a voice.

"You've come a long way to die, Asgardians." Laufey says in a low treacherous growl.

"I am Sif Odindóttir"

"We know who you are."

"How did your people get into Asgard." she demands.

Laufey breathes in and out, "The House of Odin is full of traitors." he retorts.

"Do not dishonour my father's name with your lies!" she responds with boiling anger.

Loki takes a tentative step forward to his sister. The Three prepare themselves for the inevitable showdown, if Sif's anger takes over.

Laufey stands up in anger "Your father is a murderer and a thief! Why did you come? To make peace?" he huffs.

Loki takes another step, _"This will end very badly, if I don't stop it now, I have no intention of dying today."_ he thinks. The Three are at full alert now, nothing will pass their defences.

"You long for battle. You crave it. You are nothing, but a little girl, trying to prove that she is a warrior." he continues

More Frost Giants appear, Sif looks around and smirks "I see the cowards have come to play. Well this **little girl** has grown tired of your mockery" Sif ready for a showdown. Her words have irked the wrath of the Frost Giants as they arm themselves with frost spikes and maces that magically appear on their lower arms and hands.

Loki knows they've almost reached the point of no return, if this continues, death will surely fall. He steps to his sister and whispers "Sif, stop and think, use that great wisdom of yours, we're outnumbered."

"Brother, this is not the time." she counters.

"You know not what your actions will bring. I do... Go now, while I still allow it." Laufey threatens.

Laufey moves from his throne and steps in front of Sif and Loki.

Loki tries to reason again by accepting "We will accept your most gracious offer."

The siblings share a look, with her anger seeping away, Sif sees some reason _"Why start a war, when we have peace? Father was right. I will just walk away" _she mentally concedes. She turns to walk away.

Laufey wanting to get the last punch in, changes a bad situation into the worst possible one by saying "Run home little baby, run back home to daddy."

Loki sighs under his breath "Oh Odin, so much for no dying." The Three all mutter "Oh Thor."

Sif with her back still facing Laufey loosens her grip on Mjolnir, flashes a killer grin and in one elegant swoop uppercuts the leader, sending him crashing into his already ruined throne.

And with a blood thirsty grin, she smugly calls "Next?" A Frost Giant gladly volunteers, with another mighty swing, the volunteer's gone. Another steps to the plate, she smashes a blow into its chest taking it out of the count.

"At least make it a challenge." she smirks, Laufey gladly complies.

The Three hold their own, Fandral with his sword, Volstagg with his battle axe and Hogun with his spiked mace were dispatching their enemies left, right and centre. They held their formation, making sure nothing got in, but as the Frost Giants increase in number they were forced to lose their formation. Although, they are still able have each other's back, as Hogun saves Fandral from certain death, with a well aimed spike.

Loki's also holding his own, with a combination of magical projectiles and decoy trickery, he uses the projectiles to take out their weapons of frost. While, he uses his decoys to set traps, where the giants either throw themselves to their deaths or he stabs them from behind, while they are distracted by a decoy.

Sif was enjoying the battle, Mjolnir might have made her the Goddess of Thunder, but her love for battle, made her the Goddess of War. "Ares who?!" she laughs. The Frost Giant standing in front of her, head butts her, trying to shut her up.

She laughs again "That's more like it" She throws Mjolnir into the Frost Giant's face, it's out for the count. Mjolnir comes back to her.

Volstagg is touched on the lower arm by a Frost Giant, which gives him a cold burn. He warns "Don't let them touch you." as it sends excruciating pain through his nerves. A few moments after, Loki is touched by a dying Frost Giant, the cold burns through his armour and reaches his lower arm, but he is unharmed and his skin turns blue instead. _"I am a monster!"_ he mentally curses, the Frost Giant's surprised and wonders _"How is he one of us? Why fight us?"_, Loki proceeds to finish it off, he stares at his arm as it turns back to its normal colour. "Maybe, that's why he chose her?" he mutters.

Fandral is cornered by a Frost Giant, during the fracas, he loses his sword. With menacing glee, he lets out a battle cry, runs between the Frost Giant's leg and retrieves his sword. He proceeds to chop down its arm and stabs it in the chest killing. He lets out celebratory battle cry. Unfortunately, another Frost Giant uses this as an opportunity to impale him with frost spikes from the icy ground. Loki saves him from his fate with a well aimed magical spike to the Frost Giant's chest. Hogun and Volstagg remove Frandral from his icy hell.

Loki calls out to his sister "Sif, we must go!", "Then go!" she replies. While using Mjolnir to take out 12 Frost Giants with a single throw. Laufey grows more frustrated on his ruined throne "I must release the Frost Behemoth before this baby makes a fool of me." he mutters. With a sweep of his hand, a nearby Frost Statue of a giant quadruped, cracks into life. Volstagg picks up Frandral and yells "Run!", while Loki and Hogun make a run for it. Loki yells for his sister again.

Sif, still lost in her love for battle, is taking all-comers spinning Mjolnir, while putting down every Frost Giant in her reach. With Mjolnir still spinning, she causes mini-cannons of frosted rocks into her adversaries.

The Frost Behemoth roars to attack, chasing after Loki and The Three. Fandral watches from Volstagg's back, "If we make it from this I owe you a turkey dinner." he informs Volstagg, "Make it 2 chickens, 3 ducks, 2 lambs and 4 goats" he retorts. "Seriously?! I'll give you a farm then!" Fandral answers. Hogun laughs, while Loki shakes his head and wishes for death, if it'll end this maddening conversation.

As the number of Frost Giants increases, Sif decides to bring Thunder and Lightning into the fight. With a smirk, she stops spinning Mjolnir, raises it in air and summons Thunder and Lightning, decimating most of the cold wasteland, that is Jotunheim's throne and Jotunheim itself.

Loki and the Three keep running, as they feel the fragile land give way, Fandral sees the Frost Behemoth losing to simple gravity and lack of landmass. "I guess I owe you that farm, Volstagg" he laughs. The Three laugh, even Loki allows a chuckle as they reach their destination. "Heimdall, open the bridge!" Loki yells with a small sense of relief "This is almost over." he mutters.

That happiness was short-lived, as the Frost Behemoth reappeared, unknown to Loki and The Three, gravity is not a problem when you can run upside down. The Frost Behemoth let out a mighty roar.

Sif finally out of her self-imposed trance, uses her Hammer to fly towards the Behemoth, "If the battle doesn't come to Sif, Sif must go to the battle!" she laughs, while flying into the Frost Behemoth's mouth, exiting through its neck, killing it. She lands majestically with maniacal grin. Till she finally realises the sheer numbers of Frost Giants waiting for them, with their leader Laufey, ready for all out war.

As the Frost Giants run towards their outnumbered prey, the Bifrost opens depositing Odin and his horse in blaze of glorious colours. Sif smugly delivers "Father! We'll finish them together!"

"Silence." Odin retorts.

Sif deflates, The Three are worried, Loki, as always, quietly observes.

Laufey makes a land ramp, so he can converse with Odin.

"All-Father, you look weary"

"Your girl started this."

"You're right, these were the actions of a girl, treat them as such. We can end this, here and now. No more bloodshed."

"We are beyond diplomacy, All-Father. War and death, just like she wanted" Laufey turns to look at Sif and smiles. He turns back to Odin.

"Very well." Odin replies defeated. Laufey makes a spike of ice and proceeds to stab Odin. Odin defends himself using the Bifrost and teleports himself and the Asgardians.

**++Lady Sif++**

As they arrive at Bifrost, Sif is angry and proceeds to have an argument with Odin

"Why did you back down? Why did you bring us back?"

"Child, do you realise, what you started?"

"I was protecting my home!"

"You couldn't protect your friends! How can you protect the kingdom! Get him to the healing room! Now!"

The Three leave. For the first time, Sif notices the damage her friends have received. For a split second, she sees reason, but her stubbornness won't let her act on it. As usual, Loki stays quietly observing.

"There won't be a kingdom to protect, if you're afraid to act. The Jotuns must learn – to fear me just as they once feared you." she pushes.

"That's pride and vanity talking, not leadership. You forgotten everything I taught you about a warrior's patience." he sighs.

"Father, while you patiently wait, the Nine Realms laugh at us! You grow weak, father! Giving speeches, while Asgard falls!" she delivers.

"You are a vain, greedy, little girl!" he screams

"And you're an old man and a fool!" she screams back with venom-filled vengeance. As soon as those words leave her mouth, she knows she has crossed a line. Her stubbornness and anger have taken her to some dark places, but never this dark. _"What have I done?"_ she silently chastises herself.

As Odin hears these words, he knows of only one punishment, she has crossed the line too greatly.

"Yes, I was a fool. I thought you were ready."

Loki steps in, to try to salvage the situation "Father..." but he is cut off by Odin "No!" he growls.

"My decision has been made" he sighs "Sif Odindóttir, you have betrayed the explicit command of your King, through your arrogance and stupidity, you have endangered these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horrors and desolation of war!"

Odin places his spectre into the Bifrost's lock.

"You are unworthy of these realms! Unworthy of your title! You are unworthy!" he strips off all the magical artefacts she has earned from her armour, strips off her cape. Sif stands and takes her punishment.

"You are unworthy of the loved ones, you betrayed! I now take from you your power!" Mjolnir, her precious steady companion, leaves her side.

"In the name of my father, and his father before!" The enchanted armour falls off her sleeves.

"I, Odin All-father, cast you out!" Odin uses Mjolnir to summon Thunder and Lightning, to cast Sif out, through the portal, the rest of her armour decimates, leaving her with only want she has underneath. Her leather boots, trousers and loose shirt.

She falls through portal. Odin whispers an oath to Mjolnir, "Whosoever holds this hammer, if they be worthy, shall possess the power of Sif." He throws Mjolnir through the portal. Loki, quietly observes.

Sif lands in an unknown realm, before she has time to get her bearings, she is hit by some unknown contraption. She comes to, staring into the eyes of a pale beauty with full lips, she says "Where did she come from". Sif passes out.

**++Lady Sif++**

About twenty minutes after, Sif has been taken away by Darcy, Erik and Jane, Mjolnir lands several miles away in the Puente Antiguo desert causing a large crater, while it lodges itself in the sand, waiting for its worthy welder.

* * *

**A/N: Congrats, you got to the end. Initially, it was going to have Thor, making him to be the oldest of the 3 siblings, but my brain said no. The thought of sending Thor later, just didn't work. In fact, I really didn't want to use the Hammer, hence why I never put it in the first chapter. Then I thought, why not replace Thor completely with Sif. And how in the hell, are you going to do something in the Thor-verse without Mjolnir?! As you've noticed, there's a lot of the movie's dialogue/scenes for now. In future chapters, hopefully, if I ever get the guts to finish this, I'll be using less of the dialogue and try to make her into her own character, instead of a female Thor. Although, both characters are quite similar, the main difference - Sif seems to be level-headed all the time, while Thor had to be humbled to remind him of his. I'm basing this on movie Sif. Y'all are lucky this is not the X-Men Universe, lets just say I used to be a proper fangirl of the comics. Who knew writing using the Asgard scene, would be soo long. See you in May, after my finals. Oh and all mistakes are mine. Thank you FFN for not adding any of my breaks.**


	3. The Next Day

**Disclaimer: Darcy is watching kitten videos on YouTube. "Sweet" she says as a kitten dressed in a suit rings a bell, "He thinks he's a real person...Awesome!" she laughs. She receives a chat message from someone called The Woman.**

**The Woman: I have something important to tell you.**

**D3Kittens: What? You see dead people?**

**The Woman: No.**

**D3Kittens: You're in the house? You're going to kill me? The answer to life is not 42? Insert cliché horror/sci-fi trope...**

**The Woman: Nothing that drastic.**

**D3Kittens: What then? So, I can finally live my life to the fully.**

**The Woman: I own nothing.**

**D3Kittens: _**

* * *

Darcy, Erik and Jane arrive at the A&E of the County Hospital. They check in the strange woman. "Name?" the nurse at reception asks.

"Xena." Darcy deadpans. The nurse gives Darcy a look. "What we were all thinking it?" They all looked at her and sighed.

"Okay, okay, she said it was Lady something...Sierra...Sangria...Sieve!" Darcy counters.

"She said Lady Sif. I believe, it's spelt S-I-F." Erik corrects.

"Relationship?" the nurse continues.

"Lets see, we've never met, until she..." Darcy points at Jane "...hit her with her vehicle." The nurse stares at Jane.

"She tasered her, after she became conscious." Jane defends.

"True, I feared for my life, you'd have done the same – she had crazy eyes. And he..." pointing at Erik, "...carried her into the vehicle."

**+++Lady Sif+++**

Sif wakes up in a hospital ward. She takes in the ward from her bed.

"Where am I? What realm is this?"

She recalls the events of the previous night, after she was banished from Asgard. She groans "Will father ever forgive me?"

She notices a man at the entrance peeking through a window, in a white lab coat and glasses. He notices she's awake and seems conscious. He enters the room.

"Good morning Miss..." Looks at the chart, "Sorry La-dy...Sif", he smiles, "I'm Dr. Palmer. I see you've finally woken up. How do you feel?"

"I feel well rested."

"Good. I just have a few questions. What is your full name?"

"Lady Sif Odindóttir."

"Interesting, are you of Icelandic or Norwegian descent?" he asks _"That could explain her accent"_

"I am Asgardian. What realm is this?"

_"Asgardian?! Eccentric rich lady or just plain crazy?"_, "Err...Puente Antiguo County Hospital."

She stares at him. "New Mexico..." he continues. She still looks lost, so he goes all in.

"United States of America, North America, Earth."

It dawns on her, _"Yes, Earth - Midgard. He should know of father and the last Great War."_

"I am Lady Sif Odindóttir, daughter of Odin Thorson, son of Thor Borson, son of Bor. The crown princess to the throne of Asgard."

Dr. Palmer takes a step back, _"Oh boy, I think we're leaving the eccentric train"_

"Your forefathers surely told you about my father, Odin, and the last Great War, where he led the Asgardian army into victory against the Frost Giants, when they invaded your realm."

Dr. Palmer stares blankly... _"Oh crap, welcome to crazy town"_ Dr. Palmer suddenly notices the newly christened crazy woman, looks strong and very capable of knocking him out. Even though, she was hit by a vehicle and tasered the previous night, she has no visible bruises. He quickly lays out his plan - hit the panic button and run. _"Hey, I'm only human..."_

Confused, Sif continues "How they worshipped us as gods and their saviours?"

Sif notices the doctor's uneasiness, as he slowly backs away towards the direction of a red button. She also notices a look - the same look that pale full-lipped woman had, just before she shot her with that contraption. Not wanting to relive that experience, she leaps out of bed and knocks out the doctor with a right hook, just before he can reach the button.

She carries him and places him on the bed. She carefully positions him under the covers. Quickly, she looks around the room for her clothes, and finds them in the small closet. Changes quickly and leaves the room.

She makes her way out of the hospital and just as she begins to contemplate how she will survive her new life as a mortal on Earth. She gets hit by a sudden impact, that knocks her down to the ground, as she struggles to stay conscious, she hears a strangely familiar voice "Nailed it!"

**+++Lady Sif+++**

Meanwhile at Jane's office.

Jane is perplexed by last night's event

"It wasn't just an electric storm, was it?" Erik asks

"Look at the lensing around these edges..." she points at the image on her monitor "...it's characteristic of an Einstein-Rosen Bridge." she continues.

"A what?" Darcy asks. "Aren't you a science major?" Erik asks Darcy. "Political science." Darcy replies. Erik's surprised. Jane responds "She was the only applicant."

Erik turns to Darcy and begins to explain the concept of an Einstein-Rosen Bridge. Jane looks up from the monitor and notices Erik is so engrossed in his explanation, that he doesn't notice Darcy is lost from said explanation.

"It's a wormhole." Jane deadpans. Darcy sighs in relief and mouths a silent thank you to Jane as she leaves the two scientists to their musings. Jane informs Erik about the presence of two different constellations on last night's sky – ours and apparently some other world's. While, Darcy looks at the pictures on the notice board, she notices a figure in one of the pictures.

Just to be sure that she's not losing it, she calls Jane and Erik over to see the picture. They both confirm her observation – there is a human shaped figure in the infra-red picture of the vortex.

"Occam's razor" Darcy says. Erik looks at her in surprise. "What? Political science major, remember?"

Jane smiles "I think I forgot something at the hospital."

**+++Lady Sif+++**

Darcy, Erik and Jane arrive at Sif's room. The notice something's off, first of all, the figure underneath the covers is obviously blond. Then on closer inspection, they realise it's a man. Jane checks his ID – Dr. Z. Palmer. Jane sighs, Erik checks his pulse, "Alive, just unconscious".

Darcy looks around, "Xena, must have just left, if no one has noticed this yet. I think we should leave before they do."

They casually leave the room, nod their goodbyes to the receptionist. Once outside, they run to the jeep. Jane at the wheel, Erik in the passenger, with Darcy at the back.

"I just lost my most important piece of evidence" Jane complains. "Typical" she sighs.

"What do we do?" Darcy asks. "Find her." Jane answers.

"Are you sure? You saw what she did to that doctor? Is this really a good idea?" Erik asks

"Well, our data can't tell us, what it's like to be inside that event, but she can. We must find her."

"Okay." Darcy reloads her trusty taser. "Like I said previously, she couldn't have gone far. Although, it is the County Hospital, and it's never really busy. Maybe, they think the Doc's having a Grey's Anatomy moment in a supply closet." Darcy wiggles her eyebrows, and begins to sing bow-chika-wow-wow.

Erik grimaces, while Jane lets out a chuckle. Jane reverses the jeep right into their query. "Not again..." she sighs.

They quickly disembark the vehicle and they see a barely conscious Sif. "Nailed it!" Darcy laughs as Sif passes out.

"I'm so sorry. Honestly, I'm not doing this on purpose" Jane apologises to the unconscious woman.

Darcy looks at Erik, "Sorry dude, you've got to carry her again." Erik grumbles. "Hey, not my fault, you said next time I tasered someone, I should do it in the car, she..." she points at Jane "...hit her with the car."

Erik sighs as he carries Sif and places her in the back of the jeep again. "I hope this will not be a regular occurrence."

**+++Lady Sif+++**

At that exact moment, Mjolnir still sitting in its crater is discovered by a man named Chuck. Chuck knows he's discovered something valuable. It might only be a sledge hammer, but something about it is special. "Hello Beauty, you're gonna make me a rich fella!"

He grabbed the handle and pulled, "You're stuck, aren't ya? You just need a lil' loving..." Chuck leaves the Hammer and retrieves a can of motor oil from his pick-up, squirts it around the Hammer. He tries again, it doesn't budge.

He retrieves a chain from his pick-up, forms a crude pulley system, and pulls, it still doesn't budge.

"Maybe, ya like that Disney cartoon, I saw as a young'n – Sword in a Stone...Nah..."

An idea pops into Chuck's head "...whatever you are, ya still gonna make me rich" he smiles as he clears the area of his belongings and leaves.

"Time to get me some suckers!"

* * *

**A/N: I really I'm a glutton for punishment. Needed a distraction, damn you May!**


	4. Feeling a Moment

**Disclaimer: Darcy's listening to her favourite playlist on her iPod, with songs ranging from Ludacris to The Smiths, with a pitstop at Greg Edmonson. She sways to the music, making Vogue faces, just as she reaches the crescendo, a female voice silences her music "Do not adjust your set, this is a freedom broadcast."**

**"You've gotta be kidding me?! Someone's been watching Dark Angel, a bit too much."**

**"No, I haven't, I just needed to pass some important information."**

**"Oh goodie, you can hear me" Darcy retorts as she sighs in frustration. "Dude, this better be important, I was about to bust some serious moves. Wait, how is this even possible?"**

**"I don't have time to explain, just think of Person of Interest and Chuck, you'll find an answer there." the voice responds.**

**"Okay, Yoda, whatcha got?"**

**"I don't-" Darcy interrupts the voice, "Oh, it's you! Oh no you don't, I'm going to say it this time. I own nothing!" Darcy smirks.**

**"Not fair, that's all I get to do!" the voice whines.**

**"Suck it!" Darcy fist pumps. **

* * *

Sif wakes up to the sound of humming. She notices she is in another room, less sterile than her previous one, in a bed more comfortable, considerably larger and more personal than her previous one. She also notices a faint sweet scent that is intoxicatingly inviting. She enjoys this scent, she wonders who/what it might belong to, then she remembers the humming, Sif sits up and sees its source.

Darcy is listening to her iPod, while playing Solitaire on her laptop, she's supposed to be doing data entry work, and keeping an eye on Warrior Princess, but that can wait. She stops playing Solitaire as she becomes engrossed in the song's chorus and starts to sing softly "How do you feel there's no sun? And how will you be when rain clouds come and pull you down again? How will you feel when there's no one? Am I just like you?"

Sif watches in awe, as the woman who previously shot her, continues to sing, she goes into the second verse, with so much emotion that by the time she reaches its chorus, she gets up with her eyes closed. Unintentionally, giving Sif a performance, she will never forget.

Darcy finishes the song – the last on her playlist, takes off her earphones and tucks it in her shirt. she opens her eyes, and sees Sif staring at her, with a shy smile she blurts out "That was beautiful."

"Thanks" Darcy timidly replies, and the two share a moment. Darcy notices Sif's eyes for the first time, at first glance, they appear brown, but on closer inspection, she discovers they are hazel. Sif stares at the pale brown eyed beauty before her. She misses the soulful voice she heard only moments ago, she wishes to hear it again. They continue their quiet inspection of each other.

The moment's broken, as they both remember why and how they got there. Sif becomes defensive "You attacked me...unprovoked."

"You came out of nowhere. Going on about being hammered. Then you went all crazy eyes and... I still have my taser gun." Darcy replies. She quickly grabs it, from the table behind her. Sif contemplates knocking out Darcy, but after their shared moment she goes with a different approach "Calm down, Lady..." she pauses. "Darcy. My name is Darcy Lewis." Darcy provides.

"I apologise Lady Darcy, for the shocking nature of my arrival. I truly mean you know harm."

"What about the Doctor?" Sif is confused. "The man at the hospital." Darcy continues.

Sif sighs "Well..." Sif fidgets, she mentally chides herself _"Oh Thor. I am behaving like a child, about to be scolded by their father."_

"...he had the same expression you had, when you shot me with that..." she points at Darcy's taser gun "...contraption. It is an experience I would never wish to relive. So please my Lady, lower your weapon."

Darcy thinks for a moment, _"Ok, Xena has a point and I think Jane would like her conscious"_, she lowers her weapon. "Enough with the Lady business, just call me Darcy."

Sif stands up from the bed and walks towards Darcy, she notices a change in Darcy's disposition, she gives her a reassuring smile. Darcy relaxes. Sif stops right in front of her. "Thank you... Darcy."

_"OMG, she's even more beautiful up close and really tall. Our vast height difference intrigues me. And when did I start saying OMG?"_

"You're welcome." She nervously giggles as she stares at Sif's eyes, "The most beautiful hazel eyes, I've ever seen" she gasps.

"Thank you Darcy. You possess a beautiful voice." Sif smiles.

Darcy blushes furiously, she can't believe she said that out loud. "Thank you Xena." Sif looks puzzled, "My bad. Thank you Sif" she corrects herself. They continue staring.

Jane opens the door to Darcy's room, she observes the situation. "This could get interesting..." she chuckles, "I'm sorry, but I have to break up your moment."

Darcy steps away from Sif, while Sif holds her ground. "Greetings, Lady..."

"Jane Foster, but please just call me Jane. We were about to get some dinner, it's a tie between Chinese and Pizza. Darcy..."

"Chinese. Xena here, looks like she could murder some Sweet & Sour Pork, with the House Special Fried Rice, and Honey glazed Pork Ribs." Darcy notices Sif's puzzled look "I'll explain later."

Jane raises an eyebrow and smiles "Lady Sif, after your eventful arrival, I think you will enjoy a shower, Darcy will show where it is, while we will try to round up some clothes for you. And I'm sorry about hitting you with my car...twice."

"Apology accepted. Thank you Jane, I do need sustenance. I will refresh myself. And you can call me Sif."

"Thank you Sif... Oh and Darcy behave." Jane leaves and closes the door.

Darcy turns around to face Sif, she stands in shock at the event unfolding in front of her.

Sif is undressing, right there in front of Darcy. Darcy gulps and stares at Sif, who is now only in her leather trousers and what she can only describe as a leather sports bra. As Sif is about to take off her trousers, Darcy clears her throat to get her attention.

"Yes Darcy?"

"Won't you like a towel or...something to cover something?"

Sif continues taking off her trousers "I will need to dry myself after, so yes."

Darcy stares at the woman in front of her, she subconsciously licks her lips, _"Xena has nothing on her...legs for days, thighs that would crush walnuts, wash board abs, that actually understand their definition...Whoa is she about to take off her..."_

"STOP!" Darcy yells. Sif stops, "You can do that in the bathroom!"

"My apologises, Darcy, it was never my intention to make you uncomfortable." Sif notices Darcy's laboured breath and shocked, "I'm truly sorry."

"It's OK, you could have warned me." Darcy takes her into the en-suite bathroom and explains how to use it. "Anywho, Sif, I'll leave you to it, while I help Jane find some clothes."

Darcy leaves the bathroom and her room. She leans on the closed door, takes a few calming breaths and fans herself. "Wow, that was something..."

Jane sees Darcy, "Darcy... did you behave?" Jane asks tentatively.

"I did, you should have told that to Lady-undresses-in-front-of-people. Damn those abs and legs... I need water, electrolytes, something. I think my brain needs a reboot."

Jane laughs "Come on, lets get you some water, then look for more clothes. Chinese will be here in 30 minutes."

**++Lady Sif++**

Within 20 minutes, they were able to rustle up some clothes, Erik was able to provide a suitable belt and few t-shirts, Jane found shorts and trousers from her ex-boyfriend's box of left-overs. While, Darcy provided a few tank tops and a mini-skirt.

Erik and Jane give Darcy questioning looks. "What?! You need to see her legs and arms, they would look great in these." Darcy defends. Erik sighs, while Jane laughs "If you say so Darcy, why don't you take these to her? And remember no funny business."

"Tell that to Xena, the Alien Warrior Princess." Darcy takes the clothes and tentatively enters her room, Sif is still in the bathroom. As she lays out the assorted clothes on her bed, she fails to notice Sif leaving the bathroom. The centuries of training and fighting have not only made Sif an effective fighter, but also a very stealthy one. Sif stands behind Darcy, making sure to keep at least an arm's length distance between them. Just as she is about to get Darcy's attention, Darcy turns around and collides into her.

"Whoa! Seriously, warn me already!" Darcy yelps. "Maybe I should give you a bell?"

"I'm truly sorry Darcy, it was not my intention to scare you. I was about to inform you of my presence, but..." Sif trails off as she notices just how intimate their embrace is.

"Err...no problem...I was just going to get the underwear I bought from the store across the street...Umm...from our previous... err...umm... I was able to guess your size." Darcy blushes.

"Thank you Darcy. Could you please let go of me?"

"Sorry" Darcy apologises and takes her hands off Sif's damp arms. She can't believe she'd been clinging onto Sif, who was only dressed in a towel, with her wet hair trailing down her back.

Darcy reaches behind Sif and grabs a pack of sport bras and briefs, and hands them over to Sif. Sif thanks her, Darcy nods and leaves the room.

"That woman is going to be the death of me." Darcy gasps as she leans on the closed doors.

**++Lady Sif++**

It takes Sif a few minutes to get dressed, as she opens the door Darcy falls into her arms. "Erm...I was just about to...dinner's ready...I mean I was just about to open the door...erm and the door opened...err... to tell you that dinner's ready." Darcy flusters, _"Smooth Darcy, real smooth."_

"Thank you, Darcy."

"Err...no problem, and thank you...for catching me" Darcy blushes, she removes herself from Sif's grasp, then scans Sif from head to toe, Sif is wearing a pair of jeans and a shirt."You didn't wear the skirt or the tank top. Why?" Darcy sighs.

"I am a warrior, why would I leave my legs exposed during battle?" Sif asks.

"But this isn't battle, it's New Mexico. C'mon, it's only a skirt and you've got killer legs." Darcy retorts.

"It provides no advantage in battle. I believe dinner is ready." Sif smiles as she leaves.

"Spoilsport" Darcy sighs and closes the door.

* * *

**A/N: Err...to the Guest reviewer, I said so in the A/N of Chapter 2, but thanks for the warning.**

**To rancoroftheheart thanks for the reviews, like I said – they made my life. Oh and thanks anon.**

**Was going to write the dinner scene, but nah...I'll devote the next chapter to it, so you guys get this earlier than planned, hope you like it.**


	5. Dinner is Served

**Disclaimer: Erik had a long day at the University's seminar, "Apparently, if you have tenure, you don't get fed at seminars!" he grumbles as his belly rumbles. He eagerly waits for the doorbell to ring. After 15 minutes it does, Erik runs to the door with adorable glee. He opens the door and sighs "Yes?" **

**"Don't worry, I'm not here to sell you anything, just here to give you an important message." the Woman says. Erik nods, she continues "it will change your life, it wil-"**

**"Get to the point!"**

**"I own nothing."**

**Erik slams the door.**

* * *

"So Sif, tell us something interesting about yourself" Jane supplies, as she tries to get Sif into the conversation. Sif, who has been happily enjoying her dinner, replies "I am the Lady Sif, born a goddess and forged a warrior. I was baptized in the tears of mine enemies, and their children's children fear my name… I am rock and wheat and fire and ash, and in my All-Father, Odin, I am promised to the sky."

Jane, Erik and Darcy stare at their strange guest. _"This strange woman scares me, I fear Jane and Darcy have taken a liking to her – one for her perceived advancement in science, the other for less evolved reasons."_ Erik mentally states as he worries for Sif's sanity. "Err...I believe, she meant...umm...something like you ran a marathon or you dyed your hair pink when you were 15. You know something less...err... god-like." Darcy states.

Sif ponders quietly for a moment "I was born with golden locks, until my brother hindered their progress." Darcy replies "OK, so please do tell how he hindered their progress..._I really want to be that pork rib right now_" the latter sentence she mentally adds, while she subtly licks her lips.

"My brother, Loki, played a trick on me in my youth. He was envious of my natural prowess in battle training. He decided to cut off **all** my locks while I slumbered. As I was still young and vain, I mourned its loss with great fanfare. Loki fearing punishment, seeked assistance from the Trolls, to regain what I had lost."

"Trolls?!" Sif's audience ask in unison in wide eyed wonder. "Yes, Trolls from the Kingdom of Trolls." Sif replies.

"He struck a bargain with them to forge hair made out of gold to appease my vanity. Unfortunately, Loki reneged on his side of the bargain and stole it. The Trolls aware of my brother's mischievous reputation, planned ahead. So, when the piece was placed upon my head, the locks grew – at first gold, but in mere moments became the colour of night. After my initial outburst, a stern reminder from All-Father and a compassionate word from All-Mother, I embraced it. I have been informed I look better with it, apparently it accentuates my eyes." Sif flashes a smile at Darcy, who blushes in return.

"No shit! Err...Um...sorry, I thought this was going to be an Elvis-like story of genetics running its final course." Darcy tries to explain as she tries to hold Sif's gaze. She fails and her mind wonders "_Oh frak, that smile, those eyes, that body. I would commit first degree murder, if it'd make me that goddamn rib!_" As Darcy's brain short circuits on the mental images, she misses Sif's question.

Jane throws a balled up napkin at Darcy, her aim is true, as it lands on Darcy's nose. "I'm armed and I will taser the shit outta you!" Darcy blurts. "Sif was asking you a question" Jane supplies, while Erik laughs unashamedly and silently worries "_This woman worries me, she really believes her delusions and why does her story sound familiar? Reminds me of a story my grandmother told me. Note to self – check the library on Norse Mythology_."

"Could you please sing for us?" Sif asks politely, as she flashes Darcy another smile. Darcy is intrigued by this smile, that she almost misses the repeated question. She shakes her head out of the beginnings of her new daydream. "Sorry, I think I misheard you. Did you say sing?"

"Yes, you truly have an exquisite singing voice." Sif innocently replies. "No. I don't sing for people." Darcy retorts. "Well, you sang for me..."

Jane and Erik are now watching Darcy intently, waiting for her reply. If they were not mature adults, they would have been keeping score of this rally, which Sif was winning.

"No, I didn't. I thought she was still unconscious." Darcy replies to Jane and Erik, she intentionally avoids Sif's gaze and smirk. Jane and Erik currently have matching loop sided grins. Darcy turns to Sif "Tell them!"

Sif smirks at Darcy and decides to play with her a little, Sif can't help herself – the look on Darcy's face "Her serenades could rival those of Eros. Her range could shame those of the muses. And any warrior would be willing to follow her instead of ascending to Valhalla!" Sif smirks as she rises from the table. "Thank you for the generous dinner" Sif smiles at her hosts. "Thank you for the recommendation and I hope to hear your exquisite voice again soon. Since you only sing for me." she smirks at Darcy as she leaves the dining area.

Jane and Erik laugh, as Darcy's crimson streaked face is slowly changing from embarrassment to anger. "Looks like the Lady Sif is in trouble, forged warrior or not, she should fear wrath – for her name is Darcy" Jane chuckles.

**++Lady Sif++**

"I am Darcy Lewis, goddammit! Panty and boxer dropper, since forever. I **WILL NOT** be owned by a freaking alien warrior princess!" she paces for a few minutes, making up her mind, she proceeds with her plan.

Darcy barges into her bedroom with one purpose only – to knock Sif's smirk off her smarmy alien face. She sees her prey, coming out of the en-suite bathroom, she gives a predatory smirk and launches at her prey.

Sif can only hold on, as Darcy leaps onto her wrapping her legs around her waist. Darcy pulls her into a searing and heart stopping kiss, all Sif can do is respond to it, while holding onto to Darcy like her life depended on her satisfaction. They continue in this game of satisfaction, the only sounds that can be heard are their moans and their lips. Sif pins Darcy's back to the wall and proceeds to ravage her neck, Darcy becomes impatient and pulls Sif back to her lips. The need for Oxygen becomes too great, the kiss ends. They stay in their position breathless, staring into each other's eyes. Darcy recovers quickly, remembering what she came to do in the first place.

"I am a Lioness, you're a Gazelle and this was freaking Animal Planet. You just got owned." Darcy smirks at Sif's shocked expression as she unwraps her legs from Sif's waist and pushes away. She walks out of her bedroom, she spares Sif a quick glance as she closes the door, with Sif still rooted at the spot breathing heavily, she lets out a seductive chuckle, "Yup. Still got it."

* * *

**A/N: OMG...wait this madness has to stop, I don't even like using OMG seriously, sorry about that, where was I? Yes! SnapTobiume10 left a review, I'm currently bricking it! Go me! **Dancing**OK, you really need to update Sign of the Gods and the rest of your Rizzles fics... Thanks rancoroftheheart for remembering...**

**Sorry for the delay, my 2TB HDD died, so I've been mourning and blogging... The Lioness, Gazelle and Animal Plane line was from my first speakeasy prompt "That Night". Hey, I write terrible fiction too. And Tumbling** like crazy, I really took to it...just a little bit too much.**

**OK, it's moving too fast, but Darcy doesn't play. To be honest, I actually had difficulty writing the dinner scene and not so much with the last Darcy/Sif scene. In fact, it morphed from a simple review I left on redcharcoal's The Staircase, into that...**

**Great, even my Disclaimers were getting weirder, I had to take out the MIB neutralizer scene from this disclaimer, then it continued with The Woman plotting revenge on Darcy (yes Darcy MIBed The Woman in her own house, while she was waiting for her pizza, plus she was already pissed at Darcy, see previous disclaimer). They became an actual story (The Woman seeking revenge – it was a weird day), instead of non-sequiturs that vaguely had something similar with the chapter.**

****This is what happens when you take over four weeks between writing the end of the chapter, and finally writing the beginning of the chapter today... One does weird dren, so forgive me. Oh and laurenrulez1 – thank you and welcome to the madness. Any mistakes are obviously mine. Hope it didn't suck too much.**


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